Childbirth can be a magical yet very difficult time for a mother.

In fact, after carrying your baby for nine months and being the primary focus of the couple and the family, you now feel like the baby has taken center stage. The physical upheaval of childbirth, the fatigue, emotions, and mental sensitivity are just a few of the factors that may negatively affect your relationship with your newborn.

And then there’s the frequent feeling of guilt…

Why can’t I handle it?
Why don’t I feel that motherly instinct?
Why is my baby crying so much?

Moms and newborns alike need to be uplifted and supported. Boston pediatrician Claudia Gold calls it psychological holding. “It is very important that you feel supported, understood and heard so you can then bond with your baby.”

Sometimes the baby you pictured or dreamed about is not the one you’re holding in your arms. The baby cries a lot, and you feel very alone when it comes to taking care of them. Maybe you’ve been having trouble feeding them, and it’s making you extremely fragile and helpless.If you are crying a lot and feel you can’t handle it, or if your baby is stressing you out too much, know that you’re not alone and there’s no shame in talking about it or asking for help.

This difficult relationship with your baby is going to jeopardize your relationships with your family, partner and other children…

When things do go very well with your baby, you usually ask your pediatrician for solutions, and you’ll often label it newborn colic. Colic is commonly defined as a baby crying uncontrollably for over three hours per day for more than three days per week for at least three weeks.

But you usually don’t get a satisfactory answer from the pediatrician, who mainly focuses on reassuring you by checking your baby’s physical health. Many pediatricians just say don’t worry, babies crying is a normal thing…

And so you start feeling really lost and alone with your baby, who’s still crying the same amount, and there’s no solution to make him feel better…

Crying is actually seen as suffering, so it also makes you suffer; the non-stop crying is hard to deal with.

That’s when you truly need some guidance so you can express what you’re feeling without guilt. You need to feel understood, supported, and get your questions answered.

It can be hard for moms to tell their partner, mother, or even friends that they’re not doing well.

Sometimes outside help is the best solution since it allows you to freely express yourself without fear of being judged and to feel understood so you can find solutions.